Saturday, December 29, 2007

Apples and Oranges Eggs

Bean has stayed with me for the past couple of nights. Bryan's house is being repainted. It's just the outside that's being painted, so the workmen aren't actually inside the house. However, given Bean's super-powered ears and her strong instinct to bark and whine when she hears anything odd outside, we thought it best to keep her away till the job is done.

This morning I woke to find that I didn't have anymore of Bean's food here. Of course I was not about to let her go without breakfast, so I scanned my kitchen for things that would be safe for a dog to eat. At this point I realized that I have way too much chocolate in my house. But I did see a red delicious apple in the fruit bowl, and remembered giving Bean an apple core once which see seemed to enjoy. So I chopped the apple into large pieces, tossed them in her bowl, and stood back.

She inspected the apple. She smelled the pieces. She even licked one. But she would not eat them.

Then I had the brilliant idea of spreading some of the apple pieces on the floor, because of the well-known...

Canine Culinary Rule #1
The hierarchy of food desirability is as follows (in order of descending yummy-ness):
Food that humans are eating
Food left on plates by humans
Food dropped on floor by humans
Food put into your bowl because humans want you to eat it

Sadly, Bean was not fooled.

Isn't this is the same apple I didn't want 2 minutes ago?

Remembering something I read about eggs giving dogs shiny coats, I grabbed the last two eggs from the fridge and put them in a pot of water to boil. A few minutes later, while I was peeling and chopping the hard-boiled eggs, I was reminded of...

Canine Culinary Rule #2
The stinkier it is, the more delicious it will be.

I diced up the apple into finer pieces and mashed it in with the eggs, making a disgusting sort of warm egg salad.

It smells even worse than it looks.

The results? A complete success. All the pictures I got of her eating it are blurry because her jaws are moving faster than the speed of light.

Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom...

Nom Nom [thud of the bowl hitting the baseboard] Slurp Slurp...

Lick surrounding rug...just in case.

It's actually really satisfying to cook for a dog. They really make sure you know they appreciate it. However, if you are planning on making this dish for your pooch, I must warn you. The combination of eggs and ruoughage makes for some pretty awful farts. Farts that will wilt your houseplants. So open the windows.

Bryan was asleep just feet away (did I mention my place is tiny?) during this whole ordeal. Later he complained that he heard all of it, but I have evidence that he slept soundly the whole time.

Sleeping Beauty.

He later woke up because of the eye-watering dog farts. But then we lit a bunch of incense and all went back to sleep. It was a nice family morning.