Saturday, December 24, 2005
I'm sending this from the office here at camp bowwow. The camp counselors are busy checking on all the other inmates - uhhh.....i mean campers. So I thought i'd take this opportunity to remind you all to look in on me during the holidays on the camp's webcams. i'll be sure to smile at the camera and wave every now and then so you can tell which one I am. I hope you are all getting lots of good loot. remember.....pace yourselves......you have a whole year to destroy these new toys....go slow.
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Sunday, December 11, 2005
Tuesday, December 06, 2005
This will rock.
Last weekend, we were invited over to the house of a friend (let's call him "Andrew") for some movie-watching, game-playing fun. Andrew graciously extended the invitation to Bean, seeing as how he does have a fenced in backyard. Well, immediately upon her arrival, Bean located and mauled a little stuffed koala bear. That's sort of our fault. We have allowed her to grow up thinking that any stuffed animal is a dog toy and as such is fair game.
After the mangled koala corpse was taken from her, Bean ran around the backyard for a good long while. Then she hopped up on a chair in the living room and seemed to be settling down for a nap. I went to shove her off it and Andrew stopped me, saying that it was okay with him if she napped there and that she actually looked kind of cute.
Cue the 'gina-licking.
Andrew disappeared down the hall, saying "you know what? On second thought, why don't I put a blanket down on that chair for her...." Moments later he returned and slid a very cute cow-print blanket underneath her.
"Maybe I'll check out what's going on in the dining room.....mmmm....is that Axis and Allies that they're playing? Yikes! Well let's see what going on in here..."
Yeah, that's right. We are all classy ladies over here.
Sunday, November 20, 2005
In this picture you can see her bandaged paw. She had to keep it and the E-collar on for 3 days, and yesterday (Saturday) we released her. She is full of energy and as good as new, which is slightly disappointing. We were hoping for maybe a few more days of down-time before she got back to her usual crazy self.
"When you don't share your pizza crusts with me mommy, it makes my paw hurt."
Since her wound could have had something to do with the fact that we don't clip her nails (she has eaten several nail trimmers), the guilt was a little overwhelming. We dealt with this by hand feeding her bananas and pizza crusts, carrying her up and down the stairs whenever she wanted, and letting her sleep in the bed with us.
Those of you who share the bed with your dogs on a regular basis, my hats off to you. It was the worst sleep of my whole life. She had to sleep with her head (with big plastic E-collar) on Bryan and her big fat butt on me. The weight of it pretty much forced me to lie in the same position all night, and I was achy all the next day. But, what could we do? The first time we saw her try to run into her crate for bed and bounce back because the E-collar wouldn't fit was friggin hysterical. But the eighth time was just heart breaking.
Sunday, November 13, 2005
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
(And I would be doing you a disservice if I did not send to over to have a look at Shelby's picture.)
*I had to do it on my own since Bryan refused to take any part in this. He says it's demeaning to Bean. Whatever. This is a dog that will happily run up to company, throw her back paw up over her head, and commence a very loud session of what I will only describe here as "self-love."
Thursday, October 27, 2005
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
"Let's see. What shall I destroy first? That slide in the corner looks a little evil..."
"Yeah!!! Take that you plastic piece of crap. That's teach them to give us baby toys."
"Okay, the teacher has her back turned. Let's play "Fight Club." I'll be Brad Pitt, you be Ed Norton, okay?......GO!!!"
"Man, I can't believe we got caught. She must have eyes in the back of her head. Oh well. What can I get into in here?"
"[whisper]...Okay, I'll take the big guy. you and the husky cover the other three. Got it? Good. On the count of three.....one....two...."
Sunday, October 09, 2005
One of the cool things about this place is that all of the areas are set up with webcams, so you can see what Bean is up to from any computer. It helps me not miss her too much. That, and the fact that I can eat without her staring at me, attempting to look emaciated. And the fact that I can kick my shoes off anywhere and know that they will be in same spot when I need them later....
Maybe these few days won't be so hard after all...
At any rate, while Bryan picks Bean up on Tuesday, I will not be back home until next weekend. Until then, feel free to spy on Bean at camp. You can also get your "Bean fix" by checking out some of the rather scandalous photos on this blog (See "XXX-rated!" post below).
Friday, October 07, 2005
Friday, September 30, 2005
After a few minutes of this, I decided it was safe enough for a little reconnaissance mission. Like I always say, it's important to know your enemies.
Pretty soon, after I had mapped out all of the intruder's weak points and deciphered its pattern of movement, it was time for an attack.
While I was unable to kill it, I am proud to report that it has not been spotted since. The backyard is once again under my exclusive reign."
Saturday, September 24, 2005
bryan: how bout "all along the watchtower"?
me: our back deck isn't really a watchtower though is it?
bryan: whatever. bean likes bob dylan.
me: you mean hendrix?
bryan: i mean dylan.
anyway, here's the picture:
"there's a new puppy on the block. he lives next door. if i stand up on the deck like this, i can just barely see him. i wish he'd come over to play. but i am too much of a spaz. when he tried to come over last week i freaked out and got all excited. i couldn't sit still and wait for him to come inside and i bounced on him. i guess he doesn't like to wrestle.
now i have to resort to being a peeping tom."
Friday, September 23, 2005
bean is much more likely to hoist herself onto bryan's lap, as she is a daddy's girl and always has been. she particularly likes to do so when i am in the room trying to have a conversation with bryan. hmmm. jealous, perhaps? anyone know what the opposite of an oedipal complex is?
Thursday, September 22, 2005
i don't see how it can get any better than this.
Monday, September 05, 2005
especially the rubber ones. they're just so.....chewy. i mean, with the stuffed ones, it's not even a challenge anymore. just rip rip rip, and then fling the stuffing around the house. borrrr -rrring. anyway, i've already killed all of my stuffed toys, so now it's on to the so-called "indestructible" ones. hah! yeah....sure.
p.s. - it looks like i'm on the bed here but i'm not. that would be something that other dogs get to do. i am banished to the floor. fine, mom and dad. be that way.
but i'm taking your comforter with me.
p.p.s. - unfortunately, the adoption of a sister for bean didn't work out. so she is still an only dog. it's just as well, because if i had two blogs to keep up with, i'd probably have to drop out of grad school to find the time. priorities, ya know? they're....important.
Saturday, August 20, 2005
First, I tried helping from the right...
And then from the left....
And then from the right again, with more encourage- ment....
Ya know what, dad, why don't I just write it myself this time?
Geeesh!!! Can't you two do anything for yourselves??? Are all humans this helpless?
Friday, August 19, 2005
Two bits of news:
As you may have noticed, I have written the last few posts in the voice of Bean. I think that's a cute and perfectly sane thing to do. Bryan, on the other hand, has requested that I speak only for myself from now on, lest he be embarrassed in front of the entire internet. Well, I have decided to let the readers decide. So please comment on this post and vote: "Yes, I think it's fine for you to pretend that you are your dog when you write these posts" or "Please stop polluting the web with your insane ramblings." That should settle it.
We are getting a sister for Bean!! She is a bluetick coonhound and her foster family lives in VA. We are going to go meet her on Monday. So hopefully, there will soon be two cute dogs featured on this blog! Wish us luck!!
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Sometimes, when I'm really stressed out, I like to gut one of my stuffed toys. Last week they took me to the vet. Normally I love my vet, and mom and dad always buy me a stuffed toy in the lobby that I get to play with on the way home. This time, though, they cleaned out my ears.
Now, as you can see from my photos, I have some pretty big ears. So this was no quick job. Although I don't mind baths, I hate being groomed. That's why the vet had to do it in the first place. Whenever mom and dad get down on the floor and use sweet voices and treats to lure me over, I run and hide. I learned that a looong time ago when they tried to trim my nails. No Way!!!
Anyway, on this particular vet visit, I got a stuffed frog. As soon as we got home, I ran out back with the frog and ripped it up. Now mom is pissed cause she has to clean up all this stuffing off the deck. Whatever.
I'm the victim here.
Friday, August 12, 2005
Especially when the window is rolled up to keep the A/C in and there is nothing outside to look at but trees.
Not that I ever let a little clutter keep me from napping...
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Okay, I'm finally all settled in here at the new house. Well, about 87% settled in, but that's enough to catch up on my blogging.
The move was exhausting. Really. We only moved about 1.5 miles away, so we made like a million trips back and forth in the car. I rode along in the back seat for most of them. I'm still missing a lot of my stuff.
There's soooo much to write about. I don't know where to start.
So I think I'll start with a nap.
Thursday, July 14, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
Sunday, June 26, 2005
a) demonstrating her mastery of all dog commands by executing a perfect "play dead"
b) actually dead
c) just really, really hot and rubbing herself all over the cool floor
Correct answer: C
This is Bean's first summer ever (she was born in September of 2004), and so far she is not adjusting to the heat very well. It's weird, because she doesn't have long hair or anything. But everytime we come in from a walk it's all falling out in the floor like a little furry drama queen and panting wildly like this:
We give her water all the time. What gives?
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
When she is out there, we don't close the big door, just the screen door. So if you were to go into the kitchen for oh, I don't know, a bowl of cereal, this is the first thing you'd see:
It's really creepy.
(In this photo she looks pissed off because instead of letting her in, I went to get the camera.)
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Well, we have (finally) gotten bean to understand that we don't want her up on the bed. Because she is a brat, she likes to come up and put her nose on the bed, keeping all four paws on the floor, and give us a look that says "What? I'm not on the bed. Just my nose. Your rules say nothing about noses. So there."
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Last night, around 3:30 in the morning, we wake to the sound of Bean's "big girl bark"(a deeper, more serious bark than her usual annoying yap). It seems that she hears some owls outside, and answers each "whoooo" with a "rrrrufff!". Surely the owls have to stop in a minute or two right? We wait. Nope. They are actually getting louder.
Bean is going nuts. Sometimes when she is like this, I let her out of her crate, take her outside, and let her investigate whatever it was that she heard. After a few minutes, she's convinced that there is no immediate threat to the house, and will go back inside. So I take her out. Turns out that the owls (there must be more than one) are in the tree right outside our bedroom window. After a few tries, she realizes she cannot climb trees, and I drag her back into the house.
I use a doggie cookie to lure her back into the crate. She hesitates, as if to say "Alright. But if you guys get eaten up by those things outside, I'm not responsible. I'll be safe in my crate." More "whooooo". More "rrrrufff!" Bryan is losing his patience. For those of you who have not met him, you may not be aware that he has to get up at FIVE AAYY EMMM, EVERY MORNING!!! (as he likes to remind people).
I have an idea. I drag the boom box into the bedroom, thinking that the music will mask the sound of the owls and Bean will go back to sleep. I figure it will be much easier to fall asleep to Sarah Vaughan than our present vocalists. Turns out I have to have the volume pretty high in order to cover the "whoooo"s (who knew owls were so LOUD??). Bean's still not buying it.
I go sit beside her crate and sing along to her, thinking my voice (something familiar) will sooth her. So now in addition to the "whoooooo"s and the "rrruffff!"s, we have both me and Sarah crooning out "whatever looooola wants.....". Bryan has piled all of the pillows on top of his head, and is threatening to go home (we don't technically live together; he keeps all of his crap in a house down the street).
Then, by the grace of God, bean lies down. I start singing in more of a whisper, then stop all together and get back in bed. We hear bean snoring, and I turn down the stereo. The owls leave. I turn the music off all together. And we fall back to sleep.
Bryan's alarm goes off about 15 minutes later.