Project recovery: Day 5

I haven't posted in a few days. Why is that, you ask? Well folks, although I will explain in further detail below, the reason can really be summed up in one short word.

Poop.

Poop everywhere. Magical Poop that defies the laws of physics as I had understood them up until this point in my life. Poop that can separate itself in order to fly through the small holes in the walls of a dog play pen and then reform into one giant ball on the electrical socket of the far wall. Our lives these last few days have consisted of little more than laundry, wiping dog butt, laundry, sleeping in shifts, and laundry.

We now know the reason for this. When Bean was discharged after her surgery, she was sent home on an antibiotic called Cephalexin to prevent infection of her surgical site. Apparently, somewhere along Bean's intestinal tract there is a small faucet. What Cephalexin did, basically, was to get into our dog, locate that faucet, and switch it to the "on" position.

On Saturday night, it was so bad that she was just leaking poop up to 5-6 times an hour. At 3:00 am we took her to the emergency clinic, which is no more than 4 miles from our house. She pooped twice in the car on the way there. The doctor there stopped the Cephalexin and switched her to another antibiotic, Metronidazole. They also gave her IV fluids because she was so dehydrated, and switched her to a special diet of bland canned food for a few days.

I am thrilled to report that she is improving, and the worst seems to be over.

We have learned several new and highly marketable skills during all of this. I myself now have a spooky ability to tell when she is about to poop, even before she goes into the telltale "squat" position. We also can both put a diaper on a dog while she is walking away from us. Didn't know they made diapers for dogs? You lucky, lucky thing. Yes, they do. And yes, they have a hole for the tail to poke through. I used to see them in Petsmart and giggle to myself, thinking what kind of sad person would actually diaper their dog. Not me. Oh no, I'd just let the thing run around in the back yard till it felt better, then hose it down before bringing back in. Well, I am here to tell you people, Karma is a B.

A diaper AND an E-collar? What fresh hell is this?

Please tell me you are NOT going to post these on the internet!